A CRIME?? POSSIBLY!! A REPORT!!
At 18:02, the worktop contained: one block of cheese (medium), one half-loaf of bread, a small unattended sandwich, and a banana. (The banana is not relevant to this investigation. Bananas are not relevant to anything, frankly.)
At 18:07, the worktop contained: one block of cheese (medium), one half-loaf of bread, and a banana.
Where, you may ask, did the small unattended sandwich go?? Pals, I couldn't possibly say. I can only report what I observed, and I observed it for approximately one second before my view was obstructed by my own face.
I tried, in the heat of the moment, to share with Harvey. Harvey was three rooms away, being quiet about something. By the time the sharing impulse had travelled from my heart to my brain, the sandwich had also travelled. I am sorry, Harvey!! Next time you must be FASTER!!
The Woman is conducting an inquiry. She is asking pointed questions. She is making rather strong eye contact. I am cooperating fully. I am wagging my tail VERY HARD as a sign of innocence. Sabrina, from her cushion, sighed at me. I do not know what that was about.
In conclusion: I am the BEST GIRL and also there is no sandwich. These two facts are entirely unrelated.