A POEM!! BY WINNIE!! ABOUT THE WOMAN!!
She is THE WOMAN. She is SOFT. She has the BIG cardigan, the one that is also a blanket. When she sits down I fit upon her like a second cardigan and we are then a single being, a SUPER-cardigan, and that is the best one, I think you'll agree.
She gives THINGS. Things include: the small piece of cheese, the corner of the toast, the head-rub at the EXACT spot, and the voice she does that is JUST FOR ME, in which she calls me “Winifred, Winifred, my darling Winnie girl,” and I lose my entire mind every single time. I would die for it. Please do not test this.
When I am bad — and I am, occasionally, somewhat — she says my full name in the disappointed voice and my heart breaks into approximately six (6) pieces. Then five seconds later she pets me anyway because she is GENEROUS and I have, statistically, won.
I always try to share her with my pals because that is the polite thing!! I bring Harvey over when she is sitting down. Harvey does not always come. Harvey is shy and sometimes he watches from the rug and that is also fine. Sabrina does not need to be brought. Sabrina is already there, and she has, I think, FIRST DIBS on the cardigan from a long time ago, and we respect that in this house.
I love her. I love her ever so much. I don't know what to do about it. So I do shenanigans about it. I must!!