HI!! UPDATE!! GATHER ROUND PALS!!
I have eaten a sock!! It was a perfectly good sock — striped, even!! There were two and now there is one and we shan't be speaking of the other one.
The Woman said NO when she found the second sock missing from the wash. She said NO with great firmness. She did not, however, retrieve it. Nobody can. It is GONE. It is INSIDE.
The Bald Man LAUGHED. He laughed!! Pals, this is the law of the house, written down ages ago and binding upon all parties: if the Bald Man laughs, the crime cannot have been that bad.
I tried to share with Harvey afterwards (I always try to share with Harvey, he is my best pal and also slow to the snack) but Harvey said no thank you, possibly because by then the sock was, technically, no longer available. SORRY HARVEY!! NEXT TIME!!
I feel fine. I feel SPLENDID. I feel as though I could quite happily eat another sock and I probably shall.
Tomorrow: a different sock. Or possibly a slipper!! Tune in, won't you.