HI!! PALS!! SIT DOWN!! (I cannot sit down. I have tried. It is not, today, going to happen.)
THE WOMAN IS HOME. Not for the small while where shoes go ON and then, treacherously, shoes come OFF and she leaves anyway. Not for an hour. ALL. DAY. Pals, I have verified this many times, by the rigorous method of going to find her, and every single time the result comes back the same: STILL THERE. I have never known the data to be this good.
I have, effective immediately, RESTRUCTURED. The old schedule (bark at the post, supervise Harvey, patrol the hall, nap with great force) is suspended until further notice. The new schedule is: be wherever The Woman is. That is the entire schedule. Pals, I have never been so good at a job in my LIFE.
She is in the soft chair a great deal, under the big cardigan that is also a blanket — you will recall the big cardigan from my earlier and, frankly, award-worthy reporting — and I have determined, through science, that the correct place for me is ON the cardigan, which makes us, once again, a SUPER-cardigan. The system works. I see no reason to improve a thing that is already perfect.
Harvey came and lay down by the chair too, very quietly, the way Harvey does all things. We did not discuss it. We are professionals. We simply both, independently, happened to be needed in exactly that spot. The Bald Man brought her a cup of the hot leaf water and did not move us. He stepped OVER us. A kind man. We have always said so. Put it in the record.
She put her hand on my head. Just put it there. Left it. Pals, I did not move for a very long time, which, if you know me, is the single most impressive feat I have ever performed, and I should like it entered into the official history of dogs.
I am needed back at the chair. This has been an update. THE BEST one. More soon — I will be nearby. I am always nearby now. It is the new schedule and I LOVE it!!