HI!! PALS!! Gather round, I have an ANNOUNCEMENT, and it is the most important one I have ever made, which is saying something, because I make a lot of them.
I have taken a NEW JOB. The job is: The Woman. That’s it. That’s the whole job. I looked at my schedule — barking at the post, supervising the bins, arriving — and I have CLEARED it. Where The Woman is, I am. This is not up for discussion and Sabrina has already tried.
The Woman has been spending most of her time in bed, which I have decided is CORRECT, because the bed is the softest and most important place in the house and it is frankly about time somebody made it official. I have relocated the entire operation upstairs. You may recall my Open Letter concerning the bedroom door. Pals, I have made my peace with that door — provided it is OPEN, and provided I am on the inside of it, which I now am, professionally.
She has mostly been wearing the big soft one with the hood. It is a jumper at the front and, if you are small and determined, a CAVE at the top. I used to be a super-cardigan; I have been PROMOTED. I now get inside the hood and become a small warm passenger who can still see her face. It is the best posting of my career.
Here is a typical shift. I arrive (loudly). I turn around four times (procedure). I settle onto the exact part of her I have decided is mine. I stay. I am extremely good at the staying — I used to be bad at it, and now I am the BEST at it, because it matters more now, and I can tell it matters, even if nobody has said so, because nobody tells me anything. But I NOTICE things, pals. I notice EVERYTHING.
The others have the same idea. Harvey holds the floor by the bed. Sabrina supervises from the end of it. Salem keeps arriving with gifts. Even Zelda has left the sunny spot to be nearby, which, if you know Zelda, is the loudest thing she has ever done. We did not have a meeting. Dogs do not have meetings. We all just, somehow, at the same time, decided to be here.
So that’s the news. I have a new most important job, and it is to be a warm, heavy, delighted thing as close to the person I love best as I can get, for as long as she likes — which had better be forever. Put it in the paper. Put it on the FRONT.
Tune in, won’t you!!